i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
