WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
