I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
