There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm having to shit out rocks
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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