Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
