U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
