I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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