it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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