NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
