I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
