Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
