I want to make a zoo with you.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
