did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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