my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
