just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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