Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
