Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
