Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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