Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
