How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
