she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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