her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
