woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
