You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
