dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
