Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
