He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
