similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
