she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Randomize
