sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
