I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
