You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
