Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
