Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
