That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize