as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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