Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
