I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
