I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
