Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I'm really busy with my period
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