and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
