Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
