I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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