I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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