oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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