O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
