I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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