You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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