Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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