you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
