sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
